Death of UNSC Marine Pvt. xXMcGreetingsXx

[Accessing]

Today I report with a heavy heart that Private McGriddles has died from bowing too far down too fast in an attempt to appease his commanding warlords. In an argument that went over in the front lobby at ONI's headquarters he neglected all title and honor and proceeded to challenge his lords to a duel, confident he would win he cited who he was trained from and who he thought his master was as a role playing unnamed Spartan before joining ONI. 

I quickly informed the private of a public video of his Conscriptor dying in a 15-0 match on Stasis. The private immediately stammering to talk was saved by his delusional merging squad leader from the same clan before immediately suffering a heart attack in the eyes of his lordship. Groveling, in a more obsequious behavior aimed at obtaining forgiveness he later left the lobby ashamed and upon leaving found Admiral Osman entering the lobby. He turned back immediately sliding across the floor on his knees only to be received by the dead cold eyes of an Admiral with more mass than his ant body could sustain in a slap box. Turning to me, he asked what can be done? Instead of my usual answer of harakiri I told him to bow. Where he did, he failed to raise his head and ONI Security had to escort him out as it appeared he had died on the spot. 

He will not be having a ramp or honorary ceremony.

[Accessing]

I originally posted this in Memorial but it would do this forum more justice. 

[VADM Jean Mawikizi]

LOL

[Accessing]

We should have a writing tournament. This piece should be the top one for 2019.